Minister’s Letter 6/15/2024
Dear Friends,
Another church season is coming to an end. It’s hard to believe that our church has been coming together to create and recreate a community that nurtures our faith since 1857. What an incredible legacy. We are part of something that has been going on since the time of my great, great grandparents. Our 2U ancestors shape who we are just as we shape the future of our faith. Years ago, I attended a service led by Rev. Josh Pawelek who said that it was our responsibility to become “worthy of being ancestors.” When I heard this sermon I was feeling very disconnected from the institution of Unitarian Universalism. I was angry about the defunding of youth programming. I was angry about the defunding of anti-racism organizing efforts on a national level. I was disappointed by the faith I loved so much. This sermon, though, reminded me that it was my responsibility to stay engaged, to be part of transformation, and to be worthy of being an ancestor for those who would come after me. Unitarian Universalism is hardly a static religion. It is ever changing. I think that is part of why I am so excited about the Article II revisions I recently shared a letter about. Ours is a living faith, or so we say, and it is our responsibility to keep it alive. What will you do to keep Unitarian Universalism alive? What will you do to ensure 2U is a lively space for meaning and fulfillment? How will you be worthy of being an ancestor?
This weekend is Father’s Day. Is this a fun and celebratory holiday for you? Is this a hard and challenging day in your life? Is it something that passes by with no acknowledgement? Families of origin are endlessly complicated. Sometimes we experience great love and the connection we need. Other times we experience alienation or abuse. Often we experience things somewhere on a spectrum between these.
During my life I have had a rollercoaster of a relationship with my dad. When I was very little, I remember spending lots of time outside with him, camping with him, playing at the beach with him. When my parents got divorced, I lived with my sister and my dad for two years. I know he tried really hard as a single dad to be caring. We struggled with each other, but I do believe he was doing his best. When I came out at 12 years old, he did not do a good job at all. He was very homophobic and I constantly felt betrayed by him. We also had radically different values and politics as I entered my teen years. This inevitably led to really painful arguments and yelling. After I got arrested protesting US foreign policy in Latin America, I experienced what felt almost like disdain from my dad. There were a couple of years when we did not talk nearly at all. Then, he got sick, very sick. He spent months in the hospital. He reached out to me and said he wanted to have a relationship. It took us quite a while, but we began to do the work of listening to each other and mending things. It was far from perfect, but it was meaningful. Fortunately, my dad recovered after multiple major surgeries. When he then developed cancer, I became his chemo buddy, going with him week after week. We would chat or he would nap or I would tell him about my seminary school classes. He was hurting but we were healing.
There is, certainly, more to this story. I am curious, what is some of the story you have with your dad? Or, if you are a dad yourself, what is the story you are trying to write with your beloved children? Or, if your partner is a dad, how are you supporting them to be the most loving dad they can be? So many questions. So many possibilities. So much joy. So much pain. My prayer is the church helps us hold it all.
If it’s helpful to check in about what this holiday means for you, please reach out. If it brings up beautiful or hard feelings, let’s share in them together. You are not alone.
In faithful solidarity,
